When Everyone Wants A Piece of You
One of the biggest challenges many empaths have is they can often feel energetically that everyone wants a piece of them. And as Dr Elaine Aaron and Dr Northrup suggests there is a lot more people who think they are empaths than they actually are. You may have empathic traits but that doesn’t mean you are an empath. So many many people struggle to understand the unique challenges empaths face.
Especially if you are the type of empath who automatically wants to help fix, heal, nurture, care or support anyone who you think needs it. Because unconsciously you absorb their pain while they feed off and deplete your energy. This can be a unhealthy cycle many empaths struggle to break. Because consciously never mind unconsciously empaths are so used to being of service. They are so compassionate being in-tune with other people’s pain, so used to absorbing all sorts of energy around them. That saying no and having boundaries can feel as if it goes against your core essence.
As an empaths and/or sensitive you have to be able to say no, you need to have really really strong boundaries. You have to be energetically aware when others are trying to push their agenda and needs onto you. At a cost to you. You are the only person who knows what you can give healthily and what you can’t. Something I still work on.
Many empath doesn’t recognise they are been sucked dry energetically until after the event or of they have reached some sort of burnt-out. So enmeshed within the other person’s drama, energy and pain. That they genuinely don’t recognise their own needs in the situation. So it something they seriously need to work on or they become life’s over-givers or victims. They can also be more easily swayed by other people’s ideas, thoughts because of the dis-entanglement of energy.
If you were dis-couraged from standing up for your own needs as a child or were silenced in some way. Lack of assertivess and boundaries has to be addressed along with the deepest recognition that your needs are as important as others.
As a highly sensitive caring empath from as long as I can remember. I attracted many people and situations in my personal and business life that didn’t serve me. Why?
Well When Everyone Wants A Piece Of You At Work
It can be hugely demanding, create a lot of challenges and imbalances. It can be positive when you have skills and gifts people feel they want or need. But only when you are being equally valued, when you are receiving what you need. And you can actually to do what you do in a time and energy efficient healthy and balanced way. But so many empaths in business under value their worth. Often letting their empathic nature get in the way of vital business decisions.
Most people would be very surprised or maybe shocked how many emails and facebook messages I get from people in a week expecting something for free. Now in many ways I love to help I am one of life’s nurturers and over givers. But I live on my own, I am self-employed part time and have rare and chronic health challenges that impact my daily living and work greatly. So that comes with even more challenges. I get far easily depleted than most of the people around me. And can take far less clients than other coaches and therapists, I know.
I need to remind myself daily that I need to be served to serve, something that Kyle Gray talks about. When everyone wants a piece of you for free, in-fact expects a piece of you for free, that is something that has to be addressed. And something like you I need to address no matter how challenging it can be.
If you have been a people pleaser most of your life, it can be harder to say NO than the person asking will ever realise.
Now I run a few facebook groups, in-fact I have ran many but recently I started getting so many personal messages from people who assumed I should give my time, energy and even courses for free. Despite already offering a wide range of resources for free blogs, podcasts, free self study and live courses. And this was from a group who were supposed to be empaths and highly sensitive. It was a good reminder how those who claim to be victim of psychic vampires ( not I word I like to use) can be as much the taker. We are all human of course and empaths tend to be far more aware when they are taking from others but we have to remember we are not immune to this.
So When Everyone Wants A Piece Of You What Can You Do
Develop Self Awareness – when we develop more awareness of the self and our energy we can become more detached from the drama and projections of others. We are less likely to be triggered by our empathic vulnerabilities. One of the easiest ways to do that is to learn effective meditation techniques. Check out my Free 5 Days of Meditation, Mindfulness And Stillness
Know Your Needs Are Your Priority – it is vital you work on recognising you are just as important as those around you. You need to be able to take care of your needs before you help anyone else.
Step Back Energetically – consciously step away from their energy. If you have to imagine you are removing that person from your energy field or unhooking them, do so. Most people have no awareness they are hooking in on or taking from someone energetically. They are just like everyone else on the planet unconsciously trying to get a need filled.
Take Time Out – take plenty of time to unplug from everything eslpecially others energy fields. So you energetically get back into your own body. Even moving yourself to another room or outside, space from the situation for a few minutes can help.
Don’t Over Think It – don’t allow the ruminating mind to take over. Oh I should be helping them…it’s a shame…
Don’t Take On Their Manipulation – don’t allow someone else’s victimhood or manipulation to hook you in to their mess. This is simply a subtle form of control, that people use to get what they want out of a situation.
Access Your Own Inner Wisdom – allow your own inner guidance to make the right decisions again don’t let others sway your decisions. As a very highly sensitive empath and intuitive who has worked with energy for over 25 years. I often have a deep sense of knowing or feel others energetic motives which others are unaware of. When I allow others views to cloud my own guidance it usually doesn’t serve me.
Heal Your Inner Child – heal the childhood experiences that have had you believe you have to fix, nurture, care, support, heal others. Heal the inner child that struggles or doesn’t know how to set energetic boundaries